Sable Swift here for general advisories for the month of October! Jelly and Massachusetts should get together and bond over October, it's one of the few months that correspond! You can send mail to Jelly through Jelly's Post Master at Large here at the Spirit Guide, just address your letter to Spirit Guide attn Nougat Haldeman and then the destination. Don't have any gelatinous pen pals? Need more sentient aspic in your life? Request an application from Spirit Guide and Nougat can set you up.
October is witchin' month for most, and through these next cold and rainy weeks it's good to keep your wits about you. Of course, a lot of other months are witchin' months as well but really, they don't get the press that October does.
The erstwhile Spirit of Confusing Libraries says that the Mount Holyoke library is feeling restless and may spontaneously produce phantom floors at certain early morning hours for the next fortnight. Your humble servant is glad that this message was delivered without retribution for the copy of The Reptile Book that I lost.
Gracious Alchemy Falcon says that Color and Stone Guards should abstain from using dairy totems for spellbinding on the 29th. This is because the Great Blacmange is being transmitted from Jelly into Mass MoCA for an eight hour period to "absorb [our] culture like sweet, sweet raspberry juices" and we cannot offend it.
High Portal Marshal Jade Kite says to feel the rhythm! Dance gates have opened to the Maraca Woods for a short amount of time. Contact Jade for a tutorial on how to dance your way into another dimension!
Your own Sable Swift would like to warn you against eating excessive amounts of candy corn. Many people don't know that candy corn contains grains of the great Candy Corn Consciousness, and that uniting even a small amount of that Consciousness temporarily in you gut can cause possession and nausea. Your humble servant once spent an entire Halloween crying about how people don't like my flavor.
An observant community is a safe one! Send in any other advisories you have for Halloween!
October 27, 2010
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3 comments:
Dear Sable Swift,
I would like to offer my sincere thanks for these extra-useful pieces of wisdom! (Unfortunately, the advisory against dairy totems came but moments too late, for I have already consumed a milk-frothy latte in the effort to cast a spell against the lingering effects of hangovers. Alas!)
Please forgive my ignorance, Ms. Swift, but I must make this inquiry before the ramifications of my uneducated state begin to cause me trouble during this time when the veils between the worlds are chewed by interdimensional mice: What is Jelly??
Your faithful and ever-enthused reader,
x.
Dear Jules,
Jelly is a near plane to Earth and more specifically the East Coast that is constituted almost exclusively of gelatinous goods. Gel, goop, jam, jelly, anything soft, sticky, and hovering tentatively between solid and liquid. That Earth has many of these substances shows that the two neighbor each other. but don't worry about eating any jam, as the more lively sorts of jellies haven't yet appeared on Earth, unless you count slime mold. Jelly is quite aware and fond of Earth, they still find it quite the novelty to squish into hard surfaces, but very few people on Earth know about Jelly. Hence my on going quest to lift this veil of ignorance, especially for enquiring souls such as yourself.
your eternal coffee trolley,
Sable Swift
My eternal thanks for your elucidation, Ms. Swift! Perhaps this explains my lingering feeling that my jarful of lingonberry jam has been watching me.
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