Distractions: Springtime for Benjamin Linus

Indulge my obession just a little more-- I have until May to get this out of my system.

Ordinarily I glaze over the details included in each episode. Random shots, in my mind, are usually just random. LOST, like a backwards playing record, presents many opportunities to read too far into it. So I stay at the surface level as much as possible and try to enjoy the ride. This week however, one random scene caught me. It's the satan in the bustle in my hedgerow, if you will.




The scene seems to be pointless. Ben, having convinced Team Ilana to return to the abandoned survivors' camp on the beach were it all began, made his way to (what can only be) Sawyer's old site and started digging through the stash there looking "for something useful". He finds a bottle of Oceanic Airlines water, a book called "The Chosen One" (indeed), and a porno mag which he dismisses with a "the things people bring on trips!" The scene then moves on to Ben reminiscing about plane crashes, leaving the stash behind.

When the episode moves into Bizarroland, European History Teacher Ben is about as downtrodden as Former Leader Murderous On Island Ben, but for different reasons. He's trapped in a rundown public school and forced to babysit "ingrates" in detention. Bizarro Ben lacks Murderous Ben's power and style. His only pleasure in life is his History club ("it makes you feel wanted" says Principal Reynolds), of which his pride and joy is Bizarro Alex Rousseau. And Bizarro Alex looks good. Unlike My Dad is a Psycho Who Wants to Kill Karl Alex, who always wore a harried look, Alex here is bubbly and, if not confident, motivated, clean and pretty. When she walks up the Linus household at night she looks too good, dressed in low cut pink striped top. The pointless scene surfaced in my mind and I tried to watch Ben's reaction to her closely, but it was inconclusive. Alex leaves with a, "you're the greatest, Dr. Linus!"

Bizarro Ben gets his little opportunity to run a Murderous Ben -esque power play against Reynolds when Alex reveals something about the principal to him. This scene was also weird. Alex let slip that she thought Reynolds was a perv, and when Ben insisted she elaborate, she moved around the table to sit beside him to tell her tale of infidelity and the school nurse. Again, I can't tell if Ben's initial reaction to Alex's comment is his general protective urge or if it's something else. The overlong shot of Ben's reaction to her story allowed my mind to run off with thoughts like "oh man, is he thinking about the nurse and Reynolds?" at which point I thought of the "O" face bit in Office Space. Signs point to what he was really thinking about was how he could use this information to blackmail his way into the administration. But at the time my mind was all in squick mode.

Squick mode continues when Ben bursts into Reynold's office with a stack of emails courtesy of Arzt (who is still a kind of small-time bastard) chronicling three months of "lascivious stuff". As Ben dryly banters his way to his ultimatum ("give me your job or I tell your wife"), I can't help but think of Nebbishy Doctorate Ben (whose style has oddly improved since the first few minutes) sitting in his dark house reading three month's worth of smutty correspondence. All courtesy of my active imagination.

Back on the Island, Ilana has vowed to kill Ben, but only after he digs his own grave. It's the kind of poetic justice that usually ends in a good escape. Naturally, Murderous Ben makes a hilariously desperate run for his life (I'm still trying to find a screenshot of the bamboo shovel flying as he books it into the jungle). Ever the master at saving his own skin, he manages to get to the gun in time for him and Ilana to have a good old fashioned Rousseau-style standoff. Murderous Ben then shows a surprising capability for empathy, calling Ilana off the hunt. "Just let me leave," he pleads. "Where would you go?" she asks. "To Locke. He's the only one who will have me." he cries. After a few beats of silence, Ilana says, "I'll have you."
Maybe at this point I was crazed by the rest of the episode, but was this seriously a double entendre? What was all of the rest of the sex stuff about if not this? Or maybe, just maybe I sing because I live with Satan.